Hello, Age 6.
You and I have met on several occasions. Twice you’ve blazed through my house.
Upon your arrival, you’ve brought beaming faces to your 6-year-old owners, proud to hold up not one, but two hands as proof of their new status.
You’ve brought the words to the national anthem, sung in the most innocent and pure of voices, with hands over 6-year-old hearts turned to face our flag.
You’ve also brought the words to the most recent One Direction and Taylor Swift hits, sung with equal fervor and punctuated with gyrating, still uncoordinated, 6-year-old hips.
You’ve brought snapping and whistling to accompany those hips.
You’ve brought the Tooth Fairy. To deliver treasures in exchange for those two front teeth…that exquisitely delicious gap that captures that finite moment…too brief…in time before the adult teeth emerge and threaten to take over that precious little 6-year-old face.
You’ve brought the removal of training wheels…the thrill of afternoons spent trying, trying, trying, and finally succeeding to ride, unassisted, beside an older brother who’s already conquered the challenge.
You’ve brought gum chewing. Without swallowing. You’ve brought the determination to blow your first of a lifetime of bubbles.
You’ve brought Simon Says, Mother May I, Red Light Green Light, and an unhealthy obsession with Minecraft.
You’ve brought a mastery of puzzles…your wiry body paces eagerly awaiting Daddy’s arrival home from work to show off the 100 piece puzzle you’ve completed, tongue protruding from lips in concentration, all by yourself.
You’ve brought a love of art, as evidenced by the hands covered in purple marker and the school jerseys that return home spotted with Elmer’s glue.
You’ve brought piggy back rides up the stairs to bed because your body has grown too long to be carried.
You’ve brought the graduation from baths to showers. A lifesaver after a day at the beach. And, they truly should only be given after a day at the beach.
Because, 6, you have not yet perfected your wiping skills.
Which leads me to potty humor…6, you devil, you’ve brought that too.
You’ve brought a belly laugh like no other at the mere mention of the word “butt”. Always at the dinner table. And typically with grandparents present.
Age 6, you now help write the grocery list. Your attempts to spell words phonetically leave me grinning at the store, when it finally occurs to me that “aa bat trees” are in fact AA batteries.
6-years-old, there is not a mean bone in your growing body. Yours is a world far more fair than my world was when, long ago, you were my companion.
You look at your playground buddy, who has two moms, and your eyes see only the love of a family.
You peruse the names on the cubbies outside of your classroom, and you don’t see different ethnicities. You see…and now know how to spell…the names of your friends, all so different, yet mostly alike.
You know nothing of prejudice and bigotry.
You navigate this world with a fair and open mind, and your heart is that much fuller for it.
As many leaps forward as you take, 6, you’re still so preciously innocent.
Afraid to lie, you prefer to “kid”.
You’re a staunch believer…in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Captain America, and that Mommy’s kisses take the sting out of boo boos.
You scare easily…I’m still able to keep you close with a warning, “Remember what happened to Nemo when he swam ahead of his Dad?”
Your innocence remains intact. You’re enveloped in a bubble that protects you…for a short time longer…from equating fear, despair, and heartbreak with the names Jerry Sandusky, Aurora, CO, and Sandy Hook.
Yes, 6, you’ve blazed through my house twice.
But this last year, with my third son, I’ve loved you the most.
His was a heart that hadn’t yet closed on the day he was born. It mended itself before we left the hospital.
But I should have known then that this boy would accomplish things in his own time.
His mind works furiously to find the right words, for his is a story that takes longer to tell.
He hides it as best he can at school but, when he sees me, his is a thumb that still needs sucking.
He walks confidently alongside me, yet his is a hand that still seeks holding.
But, 6, you came to this boy…this boy whose hand still seeks holding, whose thumb still needs sucking, whose story takes longer to tell, whose heart had not yet closed upon birth…and, 6, you showered him with your magic.
For this was the year that he learned to skip. A skill so easy for his peers to master, but painstakingly difficult for him.
This was the year he gripped his pencil with confidence, drew a skeleton, and smiled proudly when his older brother recognized it and complimented him.
This was the year that he ran with confidence, his eyes no longer on his feet, but peeking over his shoulder to see if his little brother raced to keep up.
This was the year he jumped off the diving board with reckless abandon, screaming, “Unacceptable!” as he leapt, while wearing a fedora atop his head.
And, yes, that fedora stayed put.
While I waited in shadow, listening from the next room, willing them to leave him be, he mustered the courage…with 6 on his side…to stand up to his brothers.
It was the year he found his voice.
The very same year he was invited for play dates.
The year his friends screamed his name from the playground, beckoning for him to join in their games.
6, you, like no other year before you, have filled this boy with confidence. This boy whose heart was still open at birth. This boy whose heart is the very biggest part of him.
You’ve transformed him.
And, 6, you’ve filled this Mother with hope.
And with that hope came the luxury of drifting off to sleep without worry. For the first time in a very long time.
And for that I will always love you.
So much so that I even forgive you for bringing Gangnam Style.
18 short months from now, you’ll slip into the house while we sleep to spend your fourth and final year with us.
And I’ll be here to welcome you back with open arms.
I’ll even bake your favorite chocolate cake for the occasion.
Until then, old friend…
This Is Six
*It is an honor to participate in this series alongside a group of women who are as kind as they are talented.
**This post appeared in the parenting section of the Huffington Post on Friday, February 22nd, 2013.
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My Mia will be six in October and I am happy to hear that it’s a good age, a good year! This warmed my heart, Bethany! Smiles with some tears, as usual. Love your blog entries!
Thank you, Maryanne! 6 is amazing. Mia will rock it. XO
I was suppose to cry when I read this, right? Don’t tell the others…but this has been my favorite post thus far. xoxo
Yes, tears are good!
And I’m sure age 7 will be my favorite;-) XO
I have been looking forward to your addition to “This Is Childhood” and I was not disappointed. Such a beautiful love letter to 6. I forgot how much transition happens at 6. You made me look at my little, pip-squeak, 4 year old and wonder what 6 will bring to him.
My First Born seemed so grown at 6, and that is probably because with the First Born I rushed and anxiously awaited the next milestone in his life instead of relishing in the current moment. Now that he is 9 I am trying to slow him down….. poor kid. His ‘Future Therapy Fund’ is growing.
I don’t feel as though I have rushed Little One. He is still my ‘baby boy.’ But after reading your piece, I am now looking forward to May 2014 when 6 visits the house again. Much Love, beautiful piece! BEAUTIFUL!
Michelle, I totally agree about rushing the first born. My poor oldest child, our guinea pig. Before he turned 7, he had THREE younger brothers. When I put it in writing, it makes me feel like a louse of a parent. Thank you so much, as always, for reading and for your heartfelt words!!
AWWW, this is so sweet and wonderful and true. It totally made me tear up! Great post.
Thanks for reading, Ashley!! Looking forward to being anthologized with you!
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I have so loved this whole series. But yours, six, might have been the most beautiful I have read yet. Thank you for sharing six with me. I’m just discovering three, and am filled with the wonder that is six.
Caitlin, thank you so much! After I wrote this, I realized age 6 is my running favorite for my kids. Different with each of them, but the same in how much they grew. Enjoy 3! I hope you have the great experience Nina Badzin wrote about age 3! Thank you for reading!
My six just turned seven this weekend. This was a trip down memory lane and I’m thankful so much of it still exists at early seven!
*The minecraft & gangnam style comments – YES
Annie, OMG, I can’t even complain about Minecraft. Gangnam style…that’s a different story! Thank you for reading!!
As always, such a beautiful post. I read and remembered and enjoyed all of those special memories all over again. Your children are so blessed to have a mom who “sees” them so clearly, and you are blessed for having magic eyes that reveal the wonder of the moment. <3
Dee, you are so sweet to say that, and they’d be so quick to argue! I like “magic eyes”. I tell my little guys I have magic kisses. But I’m going to add magic eyes into my repertoire. Thank you so much for reading! XO
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Just beautiful Bethany. My 3rd and final 6 was last week. I was especially touched by the “aa bat trees”, and jumping off the diving board in a fedora yelling “Unacceptable!” It’s those little things, those tiny treasures, that will leave joyful echoes in the corners of our hearts long after they have left 6. And this piece, you’ve written, will warm his miraculous heart, with memories of of his mom’s love and faith through his eyes of 6, when he’s 66! ~ Ilene
Ilene, I originally thought he was yelling “unacceptable” when he jumped into the pool to imitate me. My boys are home all summer (no camp). And they spend the majority of the time acting inappropriately. Last summer, I found myself saying, “unacceptable” and shaking my head a great deal. My 11 year old laughed when he told me that “unacceptable” is something a cartoon character on one of their favorite shows says repeatedly. That made it funnier and more memorable for me. The water logged fedora stayed put in the ocean as well. Such a great age. Thank you for your kind words and for reading!
What a beautiful testament to that silly, sticky, strange age of six. I remember my boy and my girl at that age, and miss it.
Silly and sticky is right!! My 6 year old is constantly telling me something outrageous, then following it up with, “Haha! I’m just kidding!” Thank you for reading!
OMGosh, this is the first post of yours that I have even read and I am in love. With children that are 9 and 12 I wish I could remember what 6 brought us let alone write about it so beautifully! Thank you for the tears today and the inspiration to think about what 9 and 12 are bringing my family!
Nicole, you’ll have to give me some pointers about age 12! My oldest is 11. And getting lippy! I have a 9 year old as well, and cannot complain about him. I don’t remember what age 7 was like. And I’ve done it twice. I guess I’ll soon see, right?
Thank you so much for reading!
Oh, how I loved this. We’ve been through six twice and heading that way with #3 who’s 3. But, this comment about the lippy 11-yr-old is what made it even better. Oh, 12. Twelve is when things get real because the mouth on this one…let us pray.
Oh, nuts. The mouth on my oldest tests my patience. When I’m faced with his mouth while my 4 year old is throwing a temper tantrum, prayers are all I have left. Thank you so much for reading!
Crying here in the ugly fashion. Your words are beautiful. What you say about the new doors that are opening, and the things you now have to shield him from (the news…life…what people can do) resonates so much. Sitting down with my 6-year old to talk about Sandy Hook (because all of her friends knew–if left to me, I wouldn’t have said a dang thing) was one of the weirdest moments of my life. Harder even than talking about the Aurora shootings, which happened in our state, and that wasn’t an effortless conversation, either.
Thank you for Six.
Oh, it’s so hard when you have to tell them something you’re not ready to tell…and they’re not ready to hear. I feel for you. I love age six for how innocent and earnest they still are. Yet, they “get” my jokes around that time. Thank you so much for reading!
Bethany, I love this so much. So much. And as the mom of a newly-minted 6yo, I totally relate. It is a wonderful age, isn’t it? So happy to be writing alongside you for This Is Childhood. xox
It is such a wonderful age. It’s an entire year of “I wish I could freeze this moment in time”. My year comes to a close in less than two weeks:-( Enjoy every moment of yours!! XO
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My six JUST turned seven, but there is still so much of the six in him that I found myself smiling through this poetry of a post.
Sigh.
My six is about to turn seven, and I hope I can say the same thing! Oh, how I have loved this year. Thank you for reading!
So artfully done! You’ve nailed it. As the mother of two boys who both brought Six in spades, I can attest to that. Thank you.
Thank you, Kristine, for reading! I love fellow Moms of boys…especially multiple boys. We have firsthand experience with that funky math equation that is:
1 boy + 1 boy = exponential chaos:-)
B, a close friend of mine just let me know that she was crying hysterically after reading your post. It was a compliment! Nina
I love hysterical crying! Hysterical anything! What a wonderful compliment, please tell her thank you!!! XO
Oh Six. My son is six and when I realize that at his next birthday he will be seven, my heart and stomach heave. You’ve vividly and perfectly captured this age, its nuances and abiding innocence. Loved this. xo
Denise, we’ll celebrate that 7th birthday before the month is up. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss age 6 until I repeatedly wiped the tears from my face while I wrote this piece. So lucky to be in this series with you and the rest of the group!! Thank you!!
This is so beautiful and wonderful, as is clearly your shiny six year old boy. My oldest boy was 6 in October. I feel so much of him, in each and every word about your glorious son. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us.
Sara, I love that…my “shiny six year old boy” is exactly what he is. He shines from the inside out. Enjoy this year with your son!! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
Ohmyheart Bethany, 6 has knocked on my door twice, too – and it’s the age I taught the longest. I love it so, you captured it perfectly. Love.
Thank you, Galit! I don’t think I realized how much I love 6 until I wrote this. So happy to have had the opportunity to reflect on it!
Beautiful. Just so beautifully written.
Thank you so much, Tabitha!
I absolutely loved it especially d part where he stands up to his brothers and you were listening. I hope I get to witness those moments in my baby’s lives too.
Those are the hard parts!!! Willing him from the next room to speak up for himself. Reminding myself not to save him! I secretly hope he grows up to be the biggest and strongest. Sometimes I warn my older two, “watch out. He’s going to be bigger than both of you. Stronger too. You’d better hope he doesn’t remember how you teased him.” I’m totally lying to them. But they buy it. Their eyes go wide, and they lay off him…for at least 10 minutes.
Thank you for reading!
Just discovered your blog through this lovely series — beautiful, beautiful post. My child is only 16 months so I have yet to experience most of what’s been written about with each of these ‘ages’ — but it gives me miles of things to look forward to with my own. Thanks for writing it. xox
Oh, 16 months is so much fun! I was in love with my kids every day between the ages of 15 months until the day each of them turned 3. All of that discovering, the new words, the adorable faces, the chubby toddler feet….oh, I loved it. You have so much to look forward to indeed! My oldest (age 11) is on the other side of these first 10 years of childhood. I miss the way he used to climb onto my lap and mold his little body to fit into mine. He’s told me he doesn’t need me to sing his song before bed every night the way I always have. But, he’s able to sit next to me in the front seat of the car, and we are really enjoying each other’s company. It’s funny how the relationship morphs. Heartbreaking in some ways, and more fulfilling in others.
Thank you so much for reading!
This is so perfect I can hardly stand it. I had that six year old once too, the one who finally learned to jump with two feet at age six and complete a sentence here and there. It made it all that much sweeter. Now I have two five year olds who head towards six and this post makes me look forward to it. So thank you.
Jessica, thank you so much! I’m glad you understand the feeling! I love him more for how much harder he has to try. And hopscotch…oh, what a scene that is. Maybe age 7 will bring some mad hopscotch skills. But boy #3 has forced me to slow myself down as he takes his time with things. And it’s good for me! Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words!
This is beautiful, Bethany. Seriously beautiful and left me in tears, as my third just left 6 and moved onto 7. Today my fourth and last child turns two, and I know that six is just around the corner.
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Amy, we are right behind you! I’m taking orders for his birthday cake (chocolate) and his birthday dinner menu (noodles with butter for the entire family). Happy 2nd birthday to your baby!! Fellow Mom of 4! And fellow anthologist? Are we anthologists?
Thank you for reading!
Jessica shared this (Four Plus An Angel) on fb and I’m all teary now. My oldest (a boy) turned six in January and I can relate. It is a wonderful and challenging age and, at times, tests my patience but my six, while confident hasn’t lost his sweetness and still wants to hold hands and call me mama. Heart meet melty.
Yes, Coreen, exactly! I love your name, btw. 6 is still good stuff. They still like the snuggling and the hand holding. Very little back talk. Dance parties and impromptu singing are common. Age 6 is earnest and kind and silly.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
So sweet! My middle boy is six and it’s been a magical year. Though I could do without Gangman Style.
You and me both, sister! My 11 year old son announced today, “I wish Gangnam Style had never been written. Then no one in this house would sing it.” He looked pointedly at his 6 year old brother. Who, in response, sang, “Hey…sexy lady!” and busted into the chorus. I can only imagine what their teachers think.
Thank you for reading!
Made me tear up, too. I also have a 6-year-old in the house and a 3.5-year-old that may be a lot like your current 6-year-old. All boys for me, as well. Love your take on the age. Each one is spectacular and so different at the same time! Thank you for sharing!
Falon, thank you for reading! It’s a crazy dynamic when there are no little girls in the house to soften our little boys. Crazy, but fun. Most of the time. I root so hard for my 6 year old. He has to work harder than his brothers do, and I love him so much for his quiet little perseverance.
Oh my gosh, this gave me goosebumps! My baby will trun 6 this summer and it will be the final 6 for me as well:(. It is amazing how we forget. Thank you for reminding me of the joy I will soon have!
Thank you for reading! Isn’t it wild that we forget? We are days away from 7, and I don’t remember anything about it!
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My daughter will be 6 in two weeks. I must say, I’m clinging to 5 with a death grip, but reading this has let me loosen that grip a little. Thanks for this.
Lara, 6 is such a blast! You will love this next year with your daughter! Thank you for reading!
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Catching up on your posts Bethany, and I must admit this one brought tears to my eyes. I’m sitting home alone being petulant on this Friday night after being ditched by my 13 year olds (they got a better offer). Reading this made me think back to when they were six, and the many great moments and memories that I have. As frustrating and exhausting as those early years can be, they only come once. Your boys are so fortunate that you recognize and embrace that. Keep writing and sharing, please!
Thank you, Deb! It’s so busy with all of the boys, but I think seeing how quickly it’s going with the 11 year old helps me see the younger years for how precious they are. Exhausting and frustrating, absolutely. But they are delicious at 6. Thanks for reading!!
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This is amazing and inspiring. I love this age!My youngest just turned six. I am clinging on. I tuck her in each night and try to convince myself it still smells like a nursery in her room. Time just flies by. Thanks for writing it!
Brooke, I do the same thing! I am kidding myself about the smell. No more nursery smell in his shared room:-( Enjoy this last year of six!! Thank you so much for reading!
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